monologue me

hi hello.
zero productivity today.
woke up late. no wonder zero productivity cuz early birds get the worms.
but today is my off day.
so, i'm offing myself from the entire world today except for my loved ones.
ayah. mak. brothers. s-i-l. opea. the one in north island.
no phone calls. no sending texts nor replying texts.
except when i feel like it.
my mind so restless. tired.
could not get out of this life trap.
torture to my soul.
quitting... the best option.
but where to go after that?
think. think. think.
tired.
pause.
why did i take the wrong path?
bcoz of love. obeying what people asked.
had left love for myself long long ago.
and now, its haunting me.
what shld i do? what shld i do? what shld i do now?
can i still get what i want?
trapped. trapped. trapped.


"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn"~David Russell

"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise"~Robert Fritz