of recent chill out

I don't know why, I still cannot let go some things in the past. For example, friends.. n memories that they bring with them still sometimes lingers in my mind. As if like we never properly said goodbye n the thing haunt me as we go on our separate ways. Well, I don't know how they feel to have a friend like me but at least that's how I feel about my relationship with them. Cuz being the quietest member of the gang, I hardly show off my joy or sadness or any feeling at all to them. A friend once said, despite my quietness, they still know n remember me. Hmm cemana tu..my quietness can actually made me known to others.. ;)

Frankly, I don't quite like that perception on me but what to do, I'm naturally like that.. *sigh*. Quite a few times, I tried to be a little verbal than usual, but towards the end, I'll be exhausted doing that. Well, I'll talk a lot when I feel comfortable n know things. Other than that I'll keep zipping my mouth.. errk..

Back to things that I can't let go..friends, well, recently, I went chilling out with some friends that I've known for almost 15 years..some sort like a mini reunion. In fact there are friends who I've known for more than that lapse of time..

And so I went out with my best friend, F*atehah whom I've known like forever! In fact she initiated the meetings. Together with her, we met Ra whom I've known since kindergarten! n M*ima.. my 2ndary schoolmate whom I share bits of my (n hers too) family stories in those days..

So, at the meeting, we talked almost about everything. About work..about love.. about relationship, about other friends like who with who now, what they do n etc etc (mind you, we were not badmouthing, we were just gossiping ;) ) Other hot topics were about mr right and wrong guy.. somebody should compile stats on married guy seeking single woman please! *sigh*..hmm.. Maybe I should write a special entry on this topic.. ;)

And we also chat about our age!!! The freaking number! sigh againnn.. We feel like we're stuck in a twenty eight year old body with teenagers mind.. *sigh*.. time flies so fast. Feel like only last year we finished high school.. but noooo.. its already 10 years plus we left that memory lane. *Sighhhhhhhhh*...... a long sigh there.

Anyway, it was a great meet up. Would love to do that again..but they depend on my off days..hmmph. I need more weekends holidays boss! ;)

Till the next entry then.. tata..


Life is a succession of moments. To live each one is to succeed. -Corita Kent-

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. -Abraham Lincoln-

this is when reality really hits

It has been almost a year since I last posted my entry here. Sigh.. A year has gone by without any fruitful entries due to procrastination illness that has affected me since I don't know when. Bad girl! Hmmph..

Ok, where should I start?.. Concluding what had happened throughout 2008?.. Hmm.. let see. Maybe I should update about things I told in my previous entry. Well, I took the job or should I say career.. maybe not. A career is a job that you do after ages of involvement in it.. err.. and you're never tired about it. Hmm.. why I took the job even there's issue about it?..

1. well, at first i think i could just try to live away from my parents..
2. i hate routine job like my previous job..
3. trying to challenge myself.. again.. tho i know my capabilities in doing this job is kinda at the low side..sigh..
4. i wanna travel places
5. i wanna meet n know more people n make frens..cuz people i know all these years are very limited

So now, after 9 months into the job, all of the above seems to hit me hard. Cuz the truth is..

1. i miss my parents so much.. my home..my room..n especially my hometown..the sea..
2. there are no job tht are not routine-like in this world.. well, eventually it'll become a routine to u tho u go to different places everytime..encounter different people n events..
3. i should stop challenging myself on something i dont quite like.. not that i dont like it, but it seems that ive to try hard to be into it.. what else can i do then..?
4. ok.. this seems ok to me.. but i still cant figure the whole picture of all the routes here.. arrgghh.. feel so small n timid living in this city.. sighh...
5. i wish i dont know half of the people i met throughout this 9 months.. hmm.

That's it. For a start of 2009. But as usual, I'm taking all these slow n steady n just go with the flow... cuz it might make me become a stronger person later in life. And so I hope..


The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. -Allan K. Chalmers-